My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
