dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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