so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
