Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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