Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
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A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
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Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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