I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
