If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
