turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
