i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
