So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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