she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
you made out with another girl for some wings
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
