don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
