He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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