He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize