So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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