508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize