So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
