I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
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You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
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No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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