weddingsv make me drug and hornr
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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