Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize