Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
is it fun? or sober?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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