Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
