Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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