I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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