Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Randomize
