he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
