oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
