You made me cry and you don't even care
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
