Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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