Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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