now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
now i know why i became what i already was.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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