Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
