i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
