I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
