So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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