Life is so much better after having sex.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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