I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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