so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
