thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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