:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize