Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
My cat gives me a boner
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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