just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
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still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
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I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
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