Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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