I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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