So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
