I think i peed on brittanys purse
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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