I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
