you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I need to sanitize my soul.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
