I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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