Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize