He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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