That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
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How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
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The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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