ugly people sure do ruin things
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I don't deserve a penis
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
