it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
