It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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