He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'm passing your future prison.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize