You work out of a Hotel?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
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