Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
